What’s the best way to ensure that throngs of potential moviegoers will never buy a single ticket to your next animated children’s film, thereby destroying the entire franchise and any future sequels? No, this isn’t a trick question. It’s actually quite a relevant one. And the answer is rather simple: Just turn one of the lead characters into a lesbian. Your movie will be a guaranteed flop. Negative press coverage will dominate the Internet, social media and airwaves. You’ll infuriate over half of your customers. Moreover, you’ll lose millions of dollars in advertising and merchandising revenue. Then you can pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
This seems to be standard operating procedure for the executives over at Disney these days. As I mentioned in October and March of last year, the entertainment giant previously made headlines for featuring “a gay coming out story” in their TV series Andi Mack, in addition to broadcasting the first gay cartoon kiss during the second season of Stars vs. The Forces of Evil.
But, it may not end there. Rumor has it that directors involved in the production of Frozen 2 are keeping alive the option of giving Elsa a girlfriend because, you know, equality and stuff. This would officially make her the first so-called “Disney Princess” to come out of the closet, a possibility that already has the film’s screenwriters hysterically thrilled. Speaking to the Huffington Post, writer Jennifer Lee said:
I love everything people are saying [and] people are thinking about with our film — that it’s creating dialogue, that Elsa is this wonderful character that speaks to so many people…Where we’re going with it, we have tons of conversations about it, and we’re really conscientious of these things. For me…Elsa’s every day telling me where she needs to go, and she’ll continue to tell us.”
Wait. Let’s pause there. So, a computer-generated cartoon character is speaking to you and she’s telling you how she would like to be portrayed in her next film. Not only that, but you’re listening to this imaginary person and you're even considering her imaginary proposal. Dear Lord. Have you thought about seeing the nearest clinical psychologist?
Anyway, there’s been no official decision on changing Elsa’s sexuality, but given Disney’s track record, it’s a strong possibility. Many moviegoers and critics argued that there was already a pro-gay culture agenda embedded in the first film, although it was so subtle even the savviest of parents could have missed it completely. Regardless, Disney continues to tread a fine line between satiating the desires of the LGBT crowd while simultaneously doing their best not to estrange its loyal customer base.
So, in the meantime, let’s discuss two of the biggest reasons why an openly gay Elsa would be a terrible idea:
1) Sexual propaganda confuses and destroys children.
Kids are perceptive. But they’re also immature and psychologically undeveloped. This can be — and usually is — a recipe for disaster. We already live in an era where the modern American child is exposed to hardcore Internet porn by the age of 11. Many even discover it by age eight or nine. But they don’t yet have a basic concept of healthy human sexuality or proper relationships. How could they? They’re kids for God’s sake! They haven’t even received the “birds and bees talk” from mom and dad. (Some of them won’t receive it at all.)
Furthermore, a child’s mind is extremely malleable and easily influenced. So, the psychological effects of introducing a mature and socially-controversial subject like homosexuality — even under the guise of cartoonish entertainment — are devastating and only lead to further confusion. Not only will these kids want to know why Elsa’s character was so dramatically altered, but they will also want to know what the specific changes mean. And the only person a child can ask is his parent. And what parent wants to be forced to explain cultural indoctrination, political agendas and lesbianism to their six-year-old? It’s a lot easier to just say, “Sorry, honey. We’re not seeing that movie. Here, have a cookie.”
2) It's a financial black hole and a terrible business strategy.
Speaking of not seeing the movie, that’s another reason why this whole thing is a really stupid idea. Disney wouldn’t just be psychologically harming kids, they’d be shooting themselves in the foot as well. As I mentioned above, placing a lesbian character in a kid’s film is the best way to ensure that it bombs in theaters. Disney has millions of customers who — though they disagree with the LGBT lifestyle — still willingly purchase tickets to Disney films and visit Disney theme parks. But, an openly gay character could become the straw that breaks the camel’s back for this demographic. Many parents across social media have already said that a lesbian Elsa would cause them to boycott Disney altogether — merchandise, movies, amusement parks, everything.
Disney can only maintain this dance for so long. Eventually they’ll have to be honest with themselves. And with their customers. Somehow I don’t expect them to do either though.