Yesterday, The Daily Mirror — a British tabloid newspaper headquartered in London — ran a story about a “married lesbian couple” from Florida who are now apparently “husband and wife after one became a man.” That was literally the headline of the article. The subtitle notes that they couldn’t care less about genders because “they are madly in love.” In other local news, a man and his soft taco are now a team of salsa dancers after one of them transitioned into Desi Arnaz and began singing Babalu.
Anyway, a little background: Tay and Anayah Kennedy were (and are) both females when they started dating about five years ago at the ages of 17 and 14, respectively. Now at 22-years-old, Tay has undergone hormone replacement therapy and wants to have gender reassignment surgery because she apparently feels that she was meant to be a male. Anayah says she has no problem with this and added, “I am attracted to Tay as a man just the same as I was as a woman, maybe even more.”
Alright, that’s enough for now. If you’re interested in the remaining history of their relationship, you can read it for yourself by visiting the embedded link, which I don’t particularly recommend. Besides, that’s all we need to know in order to arrive at a few sane and logical conclusions.
I admit that, after reading Tay and Anayah’s story, I initially sat down at my laptop to furiously type out a scathing rant against gay marriage. I was ready to list all of the reasons why gay marriage and transgenderism are a fundamental threat to the sanctity of traditional marriage and to society in general. I was ready to cite all of the biblical and logical arguments against these two disastrous cultural monstrosities. And the truth is that if I wanted to do this, I certainly could. Moreover, I would even be right in my assertions. Gay marriage and the entire LGBT agenda have indeed wreaked havoc upon our culture and devastated countless individuals and relationships. But, then I remembered a blog post that I wrote back in July of 2014 about a trend called “beta-testing marriage.” It was about people — mostly millennials and young adults — who were taking marriage for a test drive as if it were a new car. This was around the same time that so-called “divorce parties” were also popular. Perhaps you remember those. Hollywood even churned out a divorce party movie last February. These “ceremonies” were designed to “celebrate the end of a marriage or civil union and usually involve one or both of the separating couple” — as if divorce was something to be happy about before moving on to another marriage or the next phase of life.
If this is true, then we must be one of the most ecstatic, jubilant, and overjoyed nations on the planet. After all, nearly 50 percent of our marriages end in divorce. There are literally over 46,000 divorces per week in our country. For those of you who are keeping up with the math, that roughly translates to one divorce every 13 seconds. Huzzah! The answer to eternal happiness and bliss has finally been revealed: Just divorce your spouse! What’s not to be celebrate? Well, as it turns out, quite a bit. An alarmingly high number of Christians seem to be giving up on marriage as divorce has become increasingly common within the church, even among leadership and staff. Young believers in their twenties and thirties have all but given up on ever tying the knot. They quite literally want nothing to do with it. And who can really blame them when our society is utterly saturated with these sorts of statistics? Combined with issues like gender identity confusion and same-sex relationships, there just doesn’t seem to be any reason for a young person to even consider pursuing marriage these days.
In the midst of all this turmoil and chaos, I believe some differentiation and clarification is needed. You see, I don’t think the question is just “What are we going to do about transgenderism ideology and gay marriage?” though this is still certainly worthy of our attention, both as Christians and conservatives. However, I think the more significant and pressing question that we should be asking ourselves and the culture, particularly as Christ-followers and truth-tellers, is: “What are we going to do about marriage?” In other words: What are we going to do in order to ensure that the true, right, moral, biblical definition of marriage — one man, one woman — is cultivated throughout our society? If we were to answer this question with our own actions, the other issue would take care of itself to a large extent.
Traditional marriage is, quite literally, the very bedrock and foundation of our civilization as it is the only form of marriage in which procreation is possible. Without it, there would be no human race and we might as well end the conversation here. We should constantly assert this point when confronted with debates on same-sex or transgender “marriages.” Do it in love, but do it with boldness because you actually believe what you’re saying.
Let’s also be clear on another point and the reason why I place “marriage” in quotation marks: There is no such thing as gay “marriage” or transgender “marriage.” They do not exist because 1) marriage only has one definition and 2) transgenderism is a scientific and biological impossibility. It’s all utter nonsense to which our culture and our politicians have simply assigned their own terminology. Giving something a different name does not make it something else. If I were to walk into my den and refer to my dog as a cat, it would not make it so. It just makes me a crazy person who doesn’t know the difference between a dog and a cat. What our society refers to as “gay marriage” is simply a relationship between two people who happen to be of the same gender. But, it’s not marriage, no matter how much they wish that it was or how many laws they attempt to pass. In fact, it is the opposite of marriage. And what they refer to as “transgenderism” is, well, nothing at all.
So, what can we do? For starters, let’s model biblical marriage to a culture that obviously doesn’t understand what marriage was designed to be. Blog posts, Facebook statuses, and sermon series are great, but they only accomplish so much. Live out what you say you believe. Furthermore, take a strong position against divorce, even at the risk of offending those who have endured it, while simultaneously offering comfort to those who have been on the receiving end of it. Clearly marriage is not easy, no marriage is perfect, and in some horrific and extreme cases, divorce may even be morally justified or legally necessary. However, this doesn’t mean that we can or should ignore Scriptural principles about divorce or cease to speak of the terrible effects that it brings on families and on our society as a whole.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, we should teach our children and the next generation that their personal security and identity will never be found in another earthly individual, in a romantic relationship, or in trying to become something or someone that they are not. These are utterly worthless and trivial pursuits. Their security will only be found in Christ. The biblical and scientific truths of marriage, gender, and identity need to be desperately guarded and bravely defended in order to guarantee that this is even possible. I have dedicated much of my writing, blogging, and social media posts to doing just that. I have chosen not to give up, even though there often seems to be no point in trying.
Sadly, many Christians and churches have surrendered on these topics and fallen silent for fear of being labeled “insensitive,” or “mean” or “homophobic” or “bigoted” or “hateful" or whatever. This doesn’t make me some sort of hero, but it does illuminate the unfortunate reality that thousands of Christians — including some pastors — have chosen to skirt these issues and run away from them with their tails between their legs. And to that I say: So be it. Let them run. If they are too concerned with their own popularity, or are too fearful of repercussions, then they do not belong in this particular battle. As for me, I will not back down or join their cowardly withdrawal. And if you’re still reading this, then I hope you won’t either. After all, our culture’s very soul is at stake.